A Bit of Humor

No politics, no smut or crudeness, etc !!!! Just Railway-related jokes and humour......
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Tom Macrery
Posts: 308
Joined: 26 Jan 2007, 08:47
Location: Pretoria, South Africa

A Bit of Humor

Post by Tom Macrery »

The following is from a book I've written which will probably never see the inside of a publisher's printing presses. So enjoy them here, if you wish.
Tom Macrery, FOTR PS The closing few words after each item are my comments on it.

‘I like trains’. I’ve had a little book with that title since I was a child. I had model trains, first Lionel, then HO. I still like trains. These days I play with the big stuff, as a member of Friends of the Rail, a South African steam preservation club based in Pretoria. We restore old steam locomotives and carriages and run them on excursions for the general public. Herewith a selection of quotations, found on the web, which any trainman (gricer, ferroequinoligist) should enjoy.

1 - RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. The railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition. -Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) US journalist, short-story writer Check him out in the index

2 - "A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad." -Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), 26th US President, Republican ?A repeat?

3 - Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. -Will Rogers Keep moving

4 - What can be more palpably absurd than the prospect held out of locomotives traveling twice as fast as stagecoaches? -The Quarterly Review (England), March 1825 Famous last words

5 - Steam that blows the whistle never turns the wheel. Work, don’t ‘bloviate’ (q.v.)

6 - A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. Eleanor R. Belmont She must have been rich.

7 - Loco-motive: A crazy reason for doing something Good pun

8 - "No, I didn't miss my train! I just chased it out of the station because I didn't like the look of it!" Duh!

9 - Does your train of thought have a caboose? Get to the point

10 - You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Too late

11 - "It is better to wear out than rust out." George Whitefield Use it (or loose it), and use yourself

12 - Remember this saying
And you'll be spared.
Trains don't whistle
Because they're scared. -Burma-Shave 1941 I’m old, but not quite old enough to remember all those Burma Shave ads along America’s highways.
Kevin Wilson-Smith

Re: A Bit of Humor

Post by Kevin Wilson-Smith »

Tom - I especially like number 10 !

Would you like a separate section of the Forum for railway (railroad!) words ?
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