The following is from a book I've written which will probably never see the inside of a publisher's printing presses. So enjoy them here, if you wish.
Tom Macrery, FOTR PS The closing few words after each item are my comments on it.
‘I like trains’. I’ve had a little book with that title since I was a child. I had model trains, first Lionel, then HO. I still like trains. These days I play with the big stuff, as a member of Friends of the Rail, a South African steam preservation club based in Pretoria. We restore old steam locomotives and carriages and run them on excursions for the general public. Herewith a selection of quotations, found on the web, which any trainman (gricer, ferroequinoligist) should enjoy.
1 - RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. The railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition. -Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) US journalist, short-story writer Check him out in the index
2 - "A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad." -Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), 26th US President, Republican ?A repeat?
3 - Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. -Will Rogers Keep moving
4 - What can be more palpably absurd than the prospect held out of locomotives traveling twice as fast as stagecoaches? -The Quarterly Review (England), March 1825 Famous last words
5 - Steam that blows the whistle never turns the wheel. Work, don’t ‘bloviate’ (q.v.)
6 - A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. Eleanor R. Belmont She must have been rich.
7 - Loco-motive: A crazy reason for doing something Good pun
8 - "No, I didn't miss my train! I just chased it out of the station because I didn't like the look of it!" Duh!
9 - Does your train of thought have a caboose? Get to the point
10 - You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Too late
11 - "It is better to wear out than rust out." George Whitefield Use it (or loose it), and use yourself
12 - Remember this saying
And you'll be spared.
Trains don't whistle
Because they're scared. -Burma-Shave 1941 I’m old, but not quite old enough to remember all those Burma Shave ads along America’s highways.
A Bit of Humor
No politics, no smut or crudeness, etc !!!! Just Railway-related jokes and humour......
-
- Posts: 308
- Joined: 26 Jan 2007, 08:47
- Location: Pretoria, South Africa
Re: A Bit of Humor
Post by Kevin Wilson-Smith »
Tom - I especially like number 10 !
Would you like a separate section of the Forum for railway (railroad!) words ?
Would you like a separate section of the Forum for railway (railroad!) words ?
Post Reply
2 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Return to “Jokes and Assorted Humour”
Jump to
- YOUR FIRST TIME HERE? QUESTIONS ON THE FORUM? PLEASE READ....
- ↳ Using the Forums
- ↳ What You Can Get Out Of The Forum!!!!
- ↳ This Forum - Frequently Asked Questions
- ↳ FOTR Forum Help
- ↳ Testing How To Do Posts...
- FRIENDS OF THE RAIL - PUBLIC TRAIN TRIPS YOU CAN TAKE!
- ↳ FOTR Train Trips - Destinations, Schedules and Other News
- ↳ Cullinan Venues
- ↳ Corporate Venues and Packages
- ↳ Your Feedback on Trips and Venues
- ↳ Your Trip Pictures
- FRIENDS OF THE RAIL - NEWS, INFORMATION (INCLUDING OUR NEWSLETTER) AND WEBSITE/FORUM FEEDBACK
- ↳ FOTR - Announcements and News
- ↳ FOTR - 3117 15F Accident and Appeal
- ↳ FOTR - Newsletter !!!!
- ↳ FOTR - Website and Forum Feedback - Your Suggestions and Questions !
- FRIENDS OF THE RAIL PHOTO GALLERY (Requires Registration)
- ↳ FOTR Picture of the Month
- ↳ FOTR Trips and Events
- ↳ FOTR - Very Special Occasions !
- ↳ 15F 3117 - Inaugural Passenger Train - 16 December 2008
- ↳ 15F 3117 - First Steaming - 14 October 2008
- ↳ Hermanstad - first passenger train - 27 July 2008
- ↳ Hermanstad - 1st steam train to new site - 16 March 2008
- ↳ Farewell To John.....
- ↳ John's Wedding !
- ↳ 21st Anniversary of FOTR
- ↳ FOTR Steam and Miscellaneous Engines
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engine 15F 3117
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engine 19D 2650
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engine 24 3664
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engine 15CA 2850
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engine 15F 3094
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engine 8D 1223
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Fireless Locomotives
- ↳ FOTR - Funkey Diesel Locomotive
- ↳ FOTR - Electric Motor Coach
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engines GMAM Garratts 4135 and 4148
- ↳ FOTR - Steam Engine 15F 3052
- ↳ FOTR Rolling Stock
- ↳ FOTR Miscellaneous Equipment
- ↳ FOTR - The New Hermanstad Site
- ↳ FOTR Capital Park
- ↳ FOTR People
- ↳ Railway Operations - ask a question about how railways work..
- ↳ Railway Research
- ↳ Railways at War
- SOUTHERN AFRICAN MOTIVE POWER MOVEMENTS (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Main Line Motive Power
- ↳ Industrial Motive Power
- SOUTH AFRICAN RAILWAYS (Requires Registration)
- ↳ South Africa - Motive Power
- ↳ South Africa - Diesel Motive Power
- ↳ South Africa - Electric Motive Power
- ↳ South Africa - Steam Motive Power
- ↳ South Africa - Rapid Transit Systems (Gautrain & Metro)
- ↳ South Africa - Industrial Motive Power
- ↳ South Africa - Coaches, Rolling Stock & Miscellaneous Vehicles
- ↳ South Africa - Stations, Signals and Infrastructure
- ↳ South Africa - General Railway News and Discussion (except for Heritage News)
- ↳ South Africa - Heritage Railway News and Discussion
- ↳ South Africa - Plinthed/Heritage Locomotives and Rolling Stock
- ↳ South Africa - South African Railways Abroad
- ↳ South Africa - Photo Gallery - POST YOUR PICTURES HERE!
- ↳ South Africa - Diesel Motive Power
- ↳ South Africa - Electric Motive Power
- ↳ South Africa - Rapid Transit Systems
- ↳ Gautrain
- ↳ Metro Rail Systems
- ↳ South Africa - Coaches, Rolling Stock & Miscellaneous Vehicles
- ↳ South Africa - Steam and Heritage Railways
- ↳ SAR/SAS/Spoornet/TFR
- ↳ Atlantic Rail
- ↳ Sisonke Stimela (Ingwe Municipality)
- ↳ Oosterlijn
- ↳ Outeniqua Choo-tjoe
- ↳ Paton County Railway
- ↳ Reefsteamers
- ↳ ROVOS Rail
- ↳ Sandstone
- ↳ Umgeni
- ↳ SANRASM
- ↳ Plinthed Locos
- ↳ Other Steam Sites
- ↳ South Africa - Stations, Signals, Infrastructure and Miscellaneous
- ↳ South African Railways Abroad
- ↳ The Charles Lewis Series - Comments and discussion
- ↳ The Charles Lewis Series - The Pictures
- WORLD RAILWAYS - REST OF AFRICA (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Rest of Africa - Modern Motive Power
- ↳ Rest of Africa - Steam Motive Power
- ↳ Rest of Africa - Other Railway Topics
- ↳ Rest of Africa - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Kenya - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Kenya - Diesel Motive Power - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Kenya - Steam Motive Power - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Kenya - Coaches, Rolling Stock & Miscellaneous Vehicles - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Kenya - Stations, Signals, Infrastructure and Miscellaneous - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Sudan and South Sudan - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Zimbabwe and Zambia - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Eritrea - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Uganda - Photo Gallery
- ↳ UR/EAR/EARH Historic Photo Gallery
- ↳ Mocambique, Angola - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Other African Countries - Photo Gallery
- WORLD RAILWAYS - EUROPE (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Europe - Modern Motive Power
- ↳ Europe - Steam Motive Power
- ↳ Europe - Other Railway Topics
- ↳ Europe - Photo Gallery
- ↳ U.K. & Ireland - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Scandinavia - Photo Gallery
- ↳ France - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Switzerland - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Netherlands - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Germany - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Spain & Portugal - Photo Gallery
- ↳ Rest of Europe - Photo Gallery
- WORLD RAILWAYS - AMERICAS (Requires Registration)
- ↳ North/Central/South America - Modern Motive Power
- ↳ North/Central/South America - Steam Motive Power
- ↳ North/Central/South America - Other Railway Topics
- ↳ North/Central/South America - Photo Gallery
- WORLD RAILWAYS - ASIA AND MIDDLE EAST (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Asia and Middle East - Modern Motive Power
- ↳ Asia and Middle East - Steam Motive Power
- ↳ Asia and Middle East - Other Railway Topics
- ↳ Asia and Middle East - Photo Gallery
- WORLD RAILWAYS - AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Australia/New Zealand - Modern Motive Power
- ↳ Australia/New Zealand - Steam Motive Power
- ↳ Australia/New Zealand - Other Railway Topics
- ↳ Australia/New Zealand - Photo Gallery
- PHOTOGRAPHING TRAINS AND RAILWAYS (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Photography - Still Photography
- ↳ Photography - Video Photography.
- ↳ FOTR - Train Spotting and Photo Shoot Possibilities
- OTHER RAILWAY THINGS FOR RAILFANS (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Train Tales
- ↳ Jokes and Assorted Humour
- ↳ Book/Magazine News
- ↳ DVD News
- ↳ Film News
- ↳ Railworks (ex Kuju Rail Simulator)
- ↳ Model Trains
- ↳ N Scale Entire Bedroom Layout
- ↳ MTE Model Railway Layout Build #1 - HO European Layout.
- ↳ N Scale Garage Layout Build
- ↳ OO/HO African profile model railway in Kenya
- ↳ Miniature Railway Engineering
- ↳ Websites
- ↳ Micromodels
- ↳ Microsoft Train Simulator.
- ↳ MSTS News, Views and Anything Else!
- ↳ MSTS News With A South African Flavour.....
- ↳ Microsoft train Simulator 2 (deceased!)
- ↳ Other Railway Software
- POLLS (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Polls
- OTHER THINGS THAT RUN WITH STEAM! (requires Registration)
- ↳ Other Steam Devices and Mechanical Machines and Objects!
- LOCKER ROOM (Requires Registration)
- ↳ Locker Room