Millsite - Daze of our List

[John Ashworth]

Wonderful things the soap operas are. Always at prime time with predictable
story lines and slow zoom close up freeze frame endings. Twist and turns,
deceit and defeat, truth, lies, promises, deals and wheels. All the
ingredients needed to get one hooked.

Much of what has been going on here lately about the Millsite episode is
material enough for an episode or three.

Scene 1: Camera pans slowly around on wide angle at Mile sight. Scenes of
dereliction and destruction greet the eye. Cut to couple embracing in scrap
tender of locomotive. (Oops, wrong script!)

Scene 1: Camera pans slowly around on wide angle setting and slowly zooms in
on dirty face of a man overseeing a group of heavily disguised people,
wearing clothing.

” You must work faster; we don’t want anyone to know what we are doing. We
must remove as much things as we can, without being seen. ”

Camera zooms out to show group of people removing clothing.

‘No, No, No, I said we must remove things from the locomotives that we
should not do, without being seen to”

Group dresses again.

“Look what I found, a box to operate locomotive lighting, this must be very
rare indeed” cries one of the people.

“Now put that down, we are here to remove locomotives, not parts”, says the
leader.

Cut to scene of Mile sight security man. He is seated in his wooden hut,
with a piece of the local newspaper covering a broken window pane, which,
even though it obscures his sight of the items he has to look after,
nevertheless has a great pin up picture on.

“Eish! It is very cold here. I hate it when the scrap dealers are weekend
off, I get cold. I like to take hot parts of metal, freshly cut from one of
the nearby locomotives, to my hut, and use it to keep warm. I told the
cutter men, they must cut nearer, as when they were working far away, the
hot metal is getting cold, and by the time I bring it to my hut. Any case,
there are enough locomotives near me they can cut pieces off”

Camera goes to long shot of short man disguised as a short man, propelling a
wheelbarrow in slow motion towards the security hut. He is holding a bulging
wallet on the wheelbarrow filled with Zimbabwe dollars.

“Hellooo, I am a railway enthusiast, and have just collected a big present
for you. If you will look the other way, in fact, downwards, for a while,
this wallet I found, can be yours!”

“Double Eish!”

Close up of wallet being handed over, wrapped up in a brown paper bag from a
local supermarket.

Cut to people working amongst the rows of engines.

“I say, have you got a letter to remove anything from here?” says one of
them.

“Well. I was told that there were letters available and that they were
available”

“Okay, so then they are available?”

“Yes, I believe so, as I was told that they were sort of promised as
available but sort of available yet but not?”

Camera closes in on the two persons having this conversation.

“So, then we are okay to remove things for removal and then later remove
things when we are allowed to remove things for removal?”

“Yes, if we remove removable things now, we will have less removable things
to remove later when we can remove removable things later!”

Camera goes to wide angle to show Mile sight. An articulated lorry, belching
smoke approaches over the dusty rail strewn track. Its trailer, cab roof and
tipper box, is full of coal. A large banner, that has come loose, is draped
around the cab side and partly obscures the windscreen.

“What’s this then, by gore, it says ‘Donated Coal, a Load a day, gets the
engines away’ ”

“Yaw” says the driver,” This coal was collected piece by piece from all over
the country, and I have been driving around collecting it from the donors.”
“Jislaaik, man, and the traffic are terrible with all the Taxis cutting in
front. I just throw them with a blerry coal!” the driver moaned.

Camera cuts to the security hut, where the short man is engaged in a
conversation with the guard.”

So, after I left my wife, I met this bloke, and we sort of hit it off, you
know. Mind you, I did not realize at the time that he had two cars. Yes, two
cars. Mind you, most average families have two cars. In fact, I have two
cars, and park one at my neighbor, so I can show off, then again, did I ever
tell you about the time….”

Camera fades out.

Scene opens to group of people off loading coal into the tenders of the
locomotives. The leader of the group, having watched many a John Wayne
movie, is standing on a boiler tube, with his hands nonchalantly in his
pockets, addressing the group.

“Steady there, we don’t want any clinkers.” ‘Driest, you go and light up a
loco so long, were gonna light ‘em up and move ‘em out. If we work fast and
hard, there will be rewards, men. No, not men, just other rewards, stop that
thinking!”

Flurries of activity as locos are lit up. Soon a slow moving cloud of black
smoke descends upon Mile sight.

Scene cuts to a far part of the country. In a plush carpeted enclosed
garage, a man and woman are in close conversation.

“I have just written another letter, this one looks good. I corrected the
spelling”, Dark said.

“My, that’s wonderful, even those funny &% sign stuff is gone, now I can
read what I wrote” she said.

“Lets keep these letters in the drawers, no, not yours dollink!, and maybe,
we can use them in the next episode?”

Camera cuts to another part of the country. “Come on up to Marlborrrow
country” Rolling music blares out in the foreground

“Stop that, there is no smoking aloud in this story and music either!”

Back to the other part of the country, where a group of friends are sitting
around a rectangular table.

“I say” yelled the one friend across the vast wooden expanse “shall we go
and see what is going on at Mile sight?’ I hear there are moves afoot to
procure various items for distribution to safer havens?”

“Camera pans left to right and then right to left, quizzical faces frown. “
Have a biscuit” Ason, the leader of the friends says.

“I say, that’s a jolly good idea, then we can have tea and then see if we
can go look-see at Mile sight”, Mon said.

“Hmm, perhaps we can sit here and have tea and cake, and then we can send
someone else to go look, then we can have more cake for ourselves”, mumbled
Ason between cheeks laden with cake and biscuits.

“That is a splendid idea. I know where can get a few chaps to go look, I
will lend them my moped”

Scene fades and opens out in pitch darkness. Sounds of stifled coughing
reverb amongst the mire.

“Boss, the locomotives are lit and ready to move”

“Right” the team leader said, having stepped onto a cab roof for better
vision. “Driest, get coupled up and go. I will keep the security guard
busy.”

Camera cuts to wooden hut, now ablaze. Short man is still talking.” ….So
when I finally sold the car, I got a good trade in. Mind you, the wife was
not too impressed…”

“Hey, shut up and listen”. It was the team leader, silhouetted against the
burning shack. Camera goes in for low angle and slow upward zoom to focus on
a non malignant mole.

“Aah, Mr. Security, we have a letter to say that we have been given a
letter. In fact the letter states that it is a letter with words and on
paper and can be read by any authorized recipient. It comes from a far part
of the country and has all the spelling mistakes corrected “

“Eish!”

“Yes, I thought so too”, the team leader whispered.” So how are the
family?...”

Camera moves to long line of locomotives moving slowly past the smouldering
shell of the security hut. Smoke hangs low and the candle stubs installed
into the shattered headlights, cast a feeble light of way.

Cut to next scene. A carpeted garage. Two people, a male and female, are
engaged in letter writing.

“I say, this one looks good. I have used a green ink to underline with and
the important bits of drivel are in red, with every second letter
highlighted!”

“OOH, you are so adept” she crooned.’ Let me have a go too pleeease”. Camera
slow zoom in as figures huddle and discuss what colour highlighter to use
next.

“Hmm, seems the envelopes are finished, what shall we do?”

“OOH, lets, er... lets err... write a new letter next episode when we can
go buy some envelopes at the café. Need some smokes too”

“I thought we weren’t allowed to smoke in this story?”

Final scene.

Rows of locomotives have arrived at a nearby centre for other locomotives.”
Aah, now we can distribute them fairly and evenly, so there will be no
squabbling or fighting”, the team leader said, whilst standing on a rescued
fire iron.

“Put…., let’s see now. Put three locos on line one. Er.. Three on line two
and the others evenly on the other empty tracks equally spaced please!”

“What about the fence” said Driest, “we will need to add more fencing to
protect the locomotives from the dogs? We can’t afford more rusty wheels!”

Camera zooms in on dog sniffing and looking at camera with ears pricked up.
Freeze frame and slow fade. End of episode.

Da Ta Ra Daa, comes the written music.

That was this week’s episode of “Daze of our List” Look out for the next
episode of the secret goings on at Mile sight.

In next week’s episode, see how Dork issues promissory notes to move what is
needed. Nevada lets rip with a flurry of illiterate correspondence to
bamboozle. While Alford has sent a convoy of ex Iraq surplus tank recovery
vehicles to remove any rusted structure to a new place of safety.

Meanwhile, in the darkened power cut offices of the Central Railway Assets
Preservation (C.R.A.P.), plans are afoot to relocate the historical
treasures of Mile sight to a northern neighboring country, as armoured
polling booths for any future pre-rigged erections.

That’s all folks. NOTE: namand places have been changed to protect the
innocent. Any similarity to real people is purely coincidental.

Litesaxincameratrainman

[Gabor Kovacs]

Very captivating reading - :o)!

Looking forward to the next episode of pure laughter!